


Love Like You

by futuresteven (orphan_account)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Night Drive, Other, Stars, kinda sad thoughts, post-suf, tw: depression? maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/futuresteven
Summary: Steven used to think he was bad, now he’s sure that it’s true. He thinks they’re so good, and he’s nothing like them.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Love Like You

The night was always a special kind of darkness, the kind that only held the stars and the moon together so that they could all shine together and make something beautiful. Stars themselves were unique. They were bright, shining things that would be nothing if it weren’t for the darkness. Had the sky still been blue, humans may have not even known of a star's existence.

Sometimes night drives weren’t so bad, while other times they were awful. Tonight wasn’t so bad in Steven’s opinion. The nature around him was gorgeous and the sky above him was clear. He couldn’t help but look up at the stars above as they seemingly waved at him. It was almost as if they missed him going to visit them more.

Whenever feelings of homesickness began to show signs of becoming something more, Steven turned up the radio’s volume and focused on the scenery around him. He had to just drive for a few more minutes in order to stay at the motel closest to him. 

However, the familiar yearning for his family never seemed to leave him be. The smallest things would remind him of someone he once knew. A horse crossing the street reminded him of Ruby and garbage cans would remind him of Amethyst. He would always smile to himself once the wistful feelings all faded away. Stars didn’t ever miss home, right?

Memories of his past were beginning to take hold of him. The soft melody playing on the radio didn’t make things any better and instead made him long for something he had already left behind. For the longest time, the gems considered him to be an incredible person. Even when he was just a baby, Garnet could already ensure a bright future would come his way. He remembered the gems all pulling him aside and telling him how proud they were of all he had become. He was a savior of the galaxy, after all. Who wouldn’t be proud?

The answer was simple. Steven was the only one who wasn’t proud of Steven. Instead, he felt like a bad person for doing such a thing. Every decision he made ended up being wrong in some way or another. He was cursed from the very start when Rose Quartz gave him Pink Diamond’s gem. Even if she turned out to have just been Rose Quartz like everyone thought, things wouldn’t be that great for him. A rebellion’s leader always had a long list of enemies.

Whenever he received phone calls from the gems, kind words were always said. They’d ask about small things such as how the road had been, although at times they would ask about the larger things as well. Calls varied, but they happened twice a week nonetheless. One question he heard every time, though, was a difficult one to hear: “When are you coming back?”

The question made even the strongest of stars freeze in place. Answering had proven to be difficult. Who knew that such a simple question could make someone think of more questions on their own? Steven typically just said that he wasn’t sure, but questioned himself on many things.

If he was so bad, why would the gems  _ want  _ to hang out with him? Maybe it’s because he was able to do the one thing none of the others could do. But taking down an entire empire proved to be rather difficult even years later. Many gems were against Little Homeworld at first, meaning they likely were against him as well. All he ever seemed to do was bring danger to the planet he was practically made to protect.

The gems always taught him of things such as love and determination. While he was determined to keep Earth safe, could he even say he  _ loved _ it as well without sounding hypocritical? If he loved Earth so much, he wouldn’t have brought so much trouble to it. If he hadn’t been made, his mom could have finished what she started. 

From a very young age, he was considered a star by those around him. Even before he saved the planet, Connie and his dad always talked about how incredible even mere his  _ existence _ was. The gems made sure to tell him what a star he was on what seemed to be a daily basis. For a while, he believed it. But growing up seemed to bring out doubts about the past that he didn’t have before.

He couldn’t be a star if he never even shined in the first place. Things he used to be praised for soon brought even worse things in his direction. Steven couldn’t help but adore the gems for being so supportive of him for so long, but at the same time he felt guilty as well. He brought so much pain among them all and they were his own  _ family _ . Who knows how much pain he brought among strangers and friends?

Oh, if only he could know just why exactly the gems thought he was so special. To him, he was just Steven. Nothing worthy of praise. The reality was, the gems were the incredible ones. They strived to protect the planet that he used to take for granted. If they hadn’t been there alongside him, Earth wouldn’t be a thing anymore. Maybe he really  _ did _ take all the credit from the people who worked so hard to reach their goals.

Steven shivered when he remembered how things had been just months before he left. For once, he wanted to do something that  _ he  _ thought was right, something that he really  _ could  _ be proud of. That’s why he created Little Homeschool in the first place after insisting that gems new to the planet could really use some help. However, he quit working there after some time and everything seemed to just go downhill from there.

For months on end, he would do nothing but hurt everyone. What Pearl had called his ‘pink outbursts’ really did turn out to be something much worse than he thought they originally were. After so long of ignoring his own thoughts and feelings, everything seemed to be surfacing again. Years of anger, hurt, and sadness poured out of him each time another window shattered.

Even before he corrupted, he noticed the looks people gave him. He heard people talking about how he had been acting strange lately. That’s when he realized he really  _ wasn’t  _ as much of a star as he wanted to be. He would question the voice in his head, beg to know if this would be the last of it. Not even once did he receive a reply back.

Corruption brought a whole new feeling onto him. It felt like all of his positivity faded and he was trapped in someone who he was never supposed to be. The shocked reactions to his rant before he corrupted originally were funny to him, although he now knows just how serious of a problem it was. 

The words his friends and family said, the hugs and the signs of affection, all seemed to bring him back. He didn’t magically just feel better, but he  _ did  _ feel relieved. After years of nothing but negativity, he knew that he would get help for his problems now. He knew that he would have to  _ want _ to change first in order to complete this task, and he was more than willing to do so.

Therapy proved to be beneficial for him. His therapist was kind and good with how she worded things. It was weird to ask yourself how you’re feeling, but she seemed to understand his struggle and even helped him. Family and friends would check up on him to make sure he’s doing okay. Some conversations he had with others stuck with him for a long time.

Although this was only the first step, Steven knew soon that he would learn to love himself just like how the others loved him. Sometimes it was a struggle, although people were quick to offer their time to him. He looked up the stars at night and always smiled to himself when he realized that not only did one star shine, but they  _ all  _ did.

If it hadn’t been for everyone’s support, he could never be a star. However, he  _ was  _ a star now, and so were all of the people who helped him over the years. They all shined brightly together, even when they’re far apart.

Night drives could sometimes give people time to think about themselves. Steven realized this when he stepped out of his car and closed the door after grabbing his bag and some spare change he had left behind from breakfast this morning. He waved back at the stars one last time before pushing open the motel’s heavy doors.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> I wanted to try a new writing style so... here’s the result!


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